The Wizard of Oz
by Sin Oan
Summary: Shinku finds herself in the land of Oz and embarks on a journey to Emerald City, accompanied by her trusty dog Kunkun and an assortment of oddball friends she meets along the way. However a certain Wicked Witch has taken an interest in her footwear ...
1. PART1: Hail Shinku

As promised, here is the first instalment of the Wizard of Oz, starring the Rozen Maidens as the characters. Special thanks to Hikari no Destany for giving me the ok to go ahead with this. I will probably do this in a bunch of little chunks in between updates for Märchen. I can't guarantee it'll be any good, but it's just a bit of silly fun. So, umm, enjoy!

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**The Wizard of Oz**

PART 1: Hail Shinku

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Some people are light sleepers, and the slightest noise can startle them awake in the dead of night. The creak of a floorboard, the click of a door shutting. Little things. And of course there are heavy sleepers as well; people who could snooze through a thunderstorm or a brass band playing outside their bedroom window.

Or even a tornado demolishing their house.

Shinku was a heavy sleeper. Consequently, it came as quite a surprise when she opened the lid of her case one morning and found that it was sitting on a pile of splintered wood and rubble. She blinked several times and rubbed her eyes for good measure, just to be sure that she was in fact wide-awake and seeing things correctly. There was no doubt about it though - the house was no more. It was as if a giant had come tanking in during the night, raging drunk, and decided that it just hated everything in sight.

"Oh my," she said, as if to vocalise her dull surprise. She reached into her case and lifted up her trusty dog sidekick, allowing him to survey the devastation about them. "Look Kunkun, everything is a _complete_ mess. Something tells me I shall not be having my morning tea in a hurry."

Kunkun said nothing. But then that was to be expected - he was a puppet.

She climbed out of her case and closed it, before assessing the extent of the damage. Yes, her initial suspicions were confirmed. Tea was simply out of the question. That was not all. As she stumbled about the wreckage of the late house, it slowly dawned on her that something was very, very wrong. For one thing, instead of a street with other houses and roads, there was an extremely bright and colourful little village surrounding the ruined building she was standing in. It did not look familiar in the least.

Shinku managed to clamber out onto the cobblestones of said village, Kunkun clutched tightly in her grasp. Her cool blue eyes scanned the rows of cheerful little cottages and gardens, searching for some sign of life. They found none, though she had a sneaking suspicion that she was being watched.

"Kunkun, I've a feeling we're not in Japan anymore ..."

One by one, the inhabitants of the strange little village appeared. They emerged from behind bushes and around corners, peering at Shinku with a mixture of fear and curiosity. She could hear murmurs and hushed whispers from the odd little people. They _were_ little, no bigger than Shinku herself, and dressed in garishly bright clothing. Shinku cleared her throat lightly and took a few cautious steps towards the nearest.

"I say, could you perhaps tell me were I am? I appear to be quite lost."

Instead of answering, the villagers began to gasp and point up into the sky. They seemed to be happy about something. Shinku looked up and around to try and see what it was, and to her astonishment it turned out to be a bright white figure inside a bubble. The bubble floated across the sky with ease and set down in front of Shinku, before bursting amidst a spectacular sparkle of rainbow colours. Shinku could see the figure more clearly now; it was a young girl in an excessively ruffled white dress, with long silky white hair and only one eye. It was yellow, and in place of the other was a white rose of all things.

The newcomer sized Shinku up with a sickly sweet smile on her face. "Well now, let us not beat about the bush; are you a _good _witch or a _bad_ witch?" she asked pleasantly. Shinku frowned, puzzled by her question.

"I believe the answer is 'neither'. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a witch. What in the world would make you think that I was?"

The bubble girl looked from the villagers to Shinku and shrugged. "How curious. The Munchkins called me up and told me that a witch had arrived in their village and dropped a house on Barasuishou. So along I come and, well, there's the house and here _you_ are, and what _is_ a girl to think?"

Shinku digested this information and a question presented itself rather immediately. "Barasuishou?" The girl nodded and pointed. To Shinku's dismay there was a pair of bright ruby red boots sticking out from under the rubble of her wrecked house. She gasped and hurried over to them, her face etched with concern. "Oh my word! I had no idea. Do you think she is injured?"

The one-eyed girl laughed. "I should say! You need not worry though, for that was Barasuishou; the Wicked Witch of the East. The land shall be much better off without her, I assure you," she gave a twirl and a swish of her hair, as if posing for a photograph, "Besides, she was such a copycat. People kept mistaking her for me and that did no good for my stainless reputation as I'm sure you can imagine."

"I'm sure I can't," said Shinku as she turned away from the disturbing sight of the flattened witch, "Who might you be?"

"Don't you know?" the girl asked, seemingly disappointed that her stainless reputation had, for once, not proceeded her. She nevertheless flashed a vibrant smile and gave another theatrical twirl. "I am Kirakishou, the Good Witch of the North. And just who might you be, you devilishly dashing young lady?"

_Devilishly dashing?_ It must be the red, Shinku thought. Aloud she said, "I am Shinku, and this is my faithful dog Kunkun," she held up the puppet dog to emphasise this. Kirakishou clapped her hands together and hopped on the spot.

"Well! It's a pleasure to meet you Miss Shinku. Do you hear that everyone?" Kirakishou waved to the assembled Munchkins and gave a short laugh, "The Wicked Witch is dead, and we all have Shinku here to thank for it! Hail Shinku!"

"HAIL SHINKU!" the Munchkins hollered in unison. Shinku watched in amazement as the entire village then broke out into song and dance. It was quite a spectacle. She glanced over at Kirakishou, who was bobbing along with the music and giggling occasionally.

"Does this sort of thing normally happen?" Shinku asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yes. It's quite common for people here in Oz to burst into song at a moments notice. You'll get used to it."

Shinku watched the village musical for several long moments before it occurred to her to ask Kirakishou if she knew of a way to get home. Before she could however, a dark shape crashed into the ground in front of them amidst a shower of black feathers. The singing stopped dead and a hushed silence descended upon the village. The dark shape turned out to be another white-haired girl, this time in a black dress and sporting a pair of ragged black wings. She picked herself up and dusted her dress off after what had to have been a very rough landing. When she noticed Shinku and Kirakishou staring at her, she glowered back at them.

"What?" she snapped irritably, "We can't all travel by _bubble_ you know."


	2. PART2: Over the Rainbow

Another rubbish update from yours truly. Be nice though, it's my birthday today! I promise to try and write a better chapter next time. In the meantime, just try to grin and bear it.

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**The Wizard of Oz**

PART 2: Over the Rainbow

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"And what is-" Shinku began to politely ask the newcomers name, but was rudely interrupted by said newcomer.

"I am," she said with a theatrical flourish, "the one and only scandalicious Suigintou! The most wonderful-"

"Wicked," Kirakishou cut in.

"Witch of the West," she finished, ignoring her. She spun to face the by-now terrified looking Munchkins and pointed down at the ground. "Grovel before me, you pathetic miserable little wretches!"

Kirakishou raised a loose fist to her mouth and lightly cleared her throat to catch Suigintou's attention. The Wonderfully Wicked Witch of the West rounded on her with an expression of mild annoyance. "Yes? What do _you_ want Miss Goody two shoes?"

"Someone forgot to put on their green makeup ..." Kirakishou noted innocently to no one in particular. Suigintou's scowl could have soured milk. She stamped a foot and clenched her hands into trembling fists.

"I don't care what the script says, there is no _way_ I am painting this beautiful face of mine _green_. As if I would! And speaking of shoes ..." she searched around for some sign of a certain pair of ruby red slippers, only to find them on the feet of a certain doll in a ruby red dress. Namely, Shinku. Suigintou's eyes widened and she pointed an accusing finger at her. "You! Those belong to me, give them back!"

Shinku glanced down and was startled to see that her previously black shoes were now a striking shade of glittering red. A quick look confirmed that the red boots that had previously been sticking out from under the rubble of her house were now gone. She frowned, puzzled by the change. If Barasuishou's ruby red boots had somehow jumped to her, why did they look like her own shoes and not the Witch's boots instead?

"The ruby slippers reshape themselves to fit whomever wears them," Kirakishou whispered into her ear, as if sensing her confusion over the matter. Meanwhile, Suigintou swung her angry finger from Shinku to Kirakishou.

"You did this! Undo it and give me what is rightfully mine, or I will-"

"What?" Kirakishou laughed, "You can't do anything to me my dear, I'm much too strong for you. And as for the shoes, don't you remember? If the owner is killed then they go to whomever did the killing."

For the first time since she had arrived, Suigintou seemed happy. An appropriately wicked grin spread across her face and her sinister eyes turned slowly to Shinku. She cracked her knuckles as if getting ready for some fun. "Is that right ... well then, it seems I will be able to avenge the death of Barasuishou _and_ take back the slippers in one fell swoop. Two birds with one stone as they say, and I do _so_ enjoy killing little birds ..."

Shinku clutched Kunkun tight and took a step back; afraid of the Witches malevolent intent but doing her best not show it. "Stay back," she warned. Suigintou was unimpressed, and advanced towards her with an arrogant swagger in her step.

"Don't be afraid dear, I won't hurt you," she said soothingly, and then chuckled, "Much."

With a somewhat contented sigh, Kirakishou grabbed Shinku, turned the doll to face her and planted a kiss squarely on her lips. Shinku's eyes went wider than they'd ever been before, and she very nearly dropped Kunkun. Suigintou froze and watched the scene with almost abject horror. Given that she was the Wicked Witch of the West, anything that could horrify her must surely be impressive. When Kirakishou was finished she released Shinku and began to giggle incessantly. For her part, Shinku simply stood rooted to the spot, Kunkun held limply in one hand, eyes staring off into space. Suigintou snapped out of her shocked state first and stamped her foot angrily.

"What was _that?_" she demanded, treating the Good Witch to a full on 'Explain yourself right now before I tear your arms off!' glare. It was quite an expressive glare, it must be said. Kirakishou finally stopped giggling and faced the angry Witch. The rose in her right eye socket started to swivel and writhe about. It was best not to speculate why.

"I have placed a protective charm over lady Shinku here," she explained, "Now you cannot harm her. So why don't you stop bothering everyone and go away before someone drops a house on _you_."

"That is _not_ what I meant!" Suigintou snapped, shaking her fists for emphasis, "The script called for you to kiss her on the _forehead_, not on the _lips!_"

Kirakishou smirked mischievously and lightly touched a finger to her mouth. "Oops. I'm afraid I forgot. Bad, naughty Kirakishou ... I must have been carried away in the moment ..." she saw the outraged look on Suigintou's face and laughed. "Oh! I see now. Is the widdle wicked witch feeling left out?" she teased, gliding across the cobblestones towards her, "Shall I kiss you as well?" she reached out and tickled Suigintou under the chin. The Wicked Witch slapped her hand away.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a lecherous pervert?" she said. Kirakishou tilted her head slightly.

"Has anyone ever told _you_ that you're very cute when you're angry?"

Shinku blinked several times and started to move again, as if she were a computer that had just finished rebooting. She held Kunkun up before her. "Oh my, that was quite a turn I took there," she said. She glanced around and very nearly jumped with fright when she saw Suigintou standing right beside her. The Wicked Witch leaned closer to her, eyes narrowed.

"Very well, I'll bide my time. It's true I can't deal with you here and now, but just try and stay out of my way ... just you try! I'll get you sooner or later, my pretty," she peered sideways at Kunkun, "And your little dog too."

With that she stepped away, laughing quietly as she did. Shinku watched her fade away until she was completely gone, and only her laughter remained. A few seconds later and that too was gone. Shinku let out a sigh of relief. When she had sufficiently recovered from the experience, she marched over to Kirakishou and slapped the Witch across the face. "One does not kiss a lady without her permission," Shinku scolded her. Kirakishou ran a finger across her reddened cheek where Shinku had struck her and then _licked_ the finger. There was something very wrong about this Witch.

"Duly noted," she said, her rose pirouetting. Shinku resisted the urge to shudder.

"Now, kindly direct me to a means of transportation that I may use to return home."

Kirakishou pointed to the wreckage of her former house. "There is your home," she said matter-of-factly. Shinku sighed.

"To Japan," she clarified. Kirakishou frowned and tapped an index finger against her chin for several moments.

"Hmm. I have never heard of this 'Japan' place, so I am afraid I cannot tell you how to get there. Perhaps the Wizard knows?"

"Wizard?"

"Oh yes; the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. He's wonderful, you know. And a very good kisser as well."

That sounded promising. Well ... aside from the kissing thing. She decided to ignore that part. "Indeed? Then perhaps you can direct me to this Wizard, I should very much like to meet him."

Kirakishou took a hold of her hand and led her through the Munchkin village. She stopped at the edge of the village and pointed to a gleaming road that was quite impossible to miss. "That's easy; just follow the yellow brick road," she said, pointing just in case Shinku _had_ missed the bright, almost florescent golden road, "It leads all the way to Emerald City, and there you shall find the Great Oz. Give him a kiss from me when you see him."

_Certainly not_, Shinku thought. Aloud she said, "Thank you. Come Kunkun, let us be off ..."

And so Shinku left the Munchkin village, to the accompaniment of an entire choir of singing Munchkins who served as a reminder to anyone who happened to be watching that, yes, she was in fact going to see the Wizard. And what a wonderful wizard he was. When Shinku was out of sight they all stopped and began to amble aimlessly about. After a few minutes, one of the little Munchkins wondered over to Kirakishou, who was still humming under he breath.

"Excuse me," he said, "but don't you think you should have told her?"

"Mmm? Told her what?"

"About them ruby slippers ma'am - that all she has to do is click the heels together and she could be home in a flash. I'm sure it would save her a lot of trouble."

Kirakishou stared at the little man, aghast at the very notion. "And miss the rest of the story? Certainly not, we've only just started. You can't have the end at the beginning; that would just confuse things."

"Oh."

After a while he wondered away, leaving the Good Witch alone. When she was sure no one was looking, she floated over to the remains of Shinku's ruined house and found the spot where Barasuishou lay crushed. She stuck out her tongue for a second and then giggled.


	3. PART3: No Brainer

Gah, my writing is so flat and lifeless these days. It's like my muse is hibernating for the winter. And I'm still trying to write up my entry for that TP writing competition. Required words - 80k. Deadline - 31st Dec. My wordcount - about 5k so far. I suck :(

I'll try and get an update for Märchen at some point. Not sure how readable it'll be though.

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**The Wizard of Oz**

PART 3: No Brainer

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Shinku was busy chatting with Kunkun, wondering what Emerald City and this so-called Wonderful Wizard might be like. So preoccupied with this was she that she almost failed to notice when the yellow brick road split up into two separate paths, one going left and the other right. She stopped at the fork and examined both potential paths, yet could see no indication of which one she should take. There were no signposts or markings to suggest which would lead her to Emerald City.

"How vexing," she remarked aloud. Truly, this was quite a nuisance. That Good Witch Kirakishou might have mentioned the fact that the road would split into two different directions. She'd only been walking for twenty minutes and already she'd encountered a problem. She stared down the right hand path, trying to decide if she should take that one.

"Oh, that's a nice road," someone observed. Shinku started with surprise and whirled around. There was no one about save her and Kunkun. She frowned and held the puppet dog up.

"Kunkun, did you hear that? I am certain I heard someone speak just now."

Kunkun said nothing, yet his arm seemed to be pointing towards the cornfield dead ahead. Shinku glanced up, but the only thing around as far as she could see was a scarecrow tied to a pole. She stared at it for a long moment. It was a very peculiar scarecrow, and looked remarkably like a young grey-haired girl with a bright yellow coat and orange trousers. Straw protruded from its sleeves however, and it _was_ tied to a pole in the middle of a field. So presumably it was a scarecrow. Either that or the unfortunate victim of a prank.

"Of course the other road is very pleasant too, y'know?" it said, moving its head to indicate the path to the left. Shinku's bright blue eyes widened in amazement.

"You can talk! I was not aware that scarecrows possessed the ability to speak."

"You wouldn't think so, would you? Hey! Getoff! Shoo!" the scarecrow addressed its (well ... her) last comments towards a particularly smug looking crow that landed on her shoulder. Exactly how a crow can look smug is unclear, yet it somehow managed it all the same. As the scarecrows arms were tied to the pole, all she could do was glare at the crow on her shoulder and wiggle about somewhat. This completely failed to impress the crow, which proceeded to see if she was edible or not.

"You do not appear to be having the desired effect," Shinku noted dryly. The scarecrow sagged, seemingly defeated.

"I know, right? Some lousy scarecrow _I_ am. They come from miles around to eat my fields and ... and they're mocking me! See? Oh, I'm such a failure. If only I had a brain ..."

The crow perched on her shoulder squawked and took off as a carefully aimed puppet dog struck it with some force. Shinku picked Kunkun up from the ground and petted him appreciatively, before turning her attention back to the miserable looking scarecrow. "A brain? You mean to say that you don't have one?"

"Nope. All I have is a head stuffed with straw."

"But ... how is it that you can speak without having a brain?"

The scarecrow considered this fairly obvious piece of logic for a moment before shrugging. Or at least trying to. "I don't really know. But some brainless people do an awful lot of talking, don't they?"

"That is quite true. Hmm. Allow me to help you down from there."

Shinku carefully set Kunkun down and then climbed up behind the scarecrow, examining the knots in the rope that held her in place. After a few moments work she managed to undo them, whereupon the scarecrow unceremoniously fell forwards onto the ground, flailing her arms about as she did. She sat up and winced.

"Ow! Do you think ... my butt could hurt a little more?"

Shinku retrieved Kunkun and then helped her to her feet before introducing herself. "I am lady Shinku, and this is Kunkun. How do you do?"

The scarecrow smiled nervously and waved to Kunkun. "Thanks for getting me down from there. It's a real pain being stuck up there for days on end. I'm Kanaria, pleased to meet you. Say, where are you going?"

"Kunkun and I are trying to make our way to Emerald City. We're to see the Wizard of Oz in the hopes that he might know of a way to return us home."

Kanaria's eyes lit up with joy and she jumped on the spot and waved her arms about. "The Wizard? Oh! Please let me come! I've heard all kinds of wonderful things about the Wizard of Oz; I just bet he could make me the brainiest of the scarecrows!"

"Certainly," said Shinku, "Only ..." she looked uncertainly at the fork in the yellow brick road, "I am unsure of which direction to proceed in."

Kanaria scoffed and pointed to the right hand path, "That's easy, it's obviously this way. Everyone in Oz knows that Emerald City lies to the east of here, and you can tell that way is east because of the position of the sun in the sky at this time of day. Simple, right?"

Shinku stared at her for a long hard moment. "Quite. And you say you wish to ask the Wizard for a brain?"

"Mm-hmm," Kanaria nodded enthusiastically, "That way I wont be such a moron anymore, y'know?"

Shinku regarded the right hand path for a moment and then glanced up at the sun overhead. Then she stared at the scarecrow once more, who seemed thrilled to be going to see the Wizard. Finally she set off without another word, while Kanaria joined her, singing merrily as she went.

* * *

"-and then she disappeared," Shinku finished recounting her frightening encounter with the Wicked Witch to the scarecrow. Kanaria did not seem disturbed in the slightest.

"Huh. Well I'm not afraid of any Witch. I'm not afraid of anything! Well ... except maybe a lit match," she conceded. Shinku stopped abruptly and held Kunkun up. She seemed to be listening intently. Kanaria strained to listen herself, but if the puppet dog was saying anything, she couldn't hear. "What is it?" she asked.

"Kunkun says that he can smell a very strong odour of tin nearby," Shinku replied. Kanaria eyed Kunkun sceptically for a moment, but realised she was in no position to be commenting on the unlikeliness of a stuffed animal doing anything when she was herself a mere stuffed farming implement.

"I see," she cast her gaze about for a moment and then jumped and pointed as she spotted something odd at the tree line a short distance away, "Look! Look, look! Over there!"

Standing frozen beside a tree stump was a curious figure dressed in blue and wearing a hat. Its skin had a metallic sheen to it, and buried in the tree stump itself was an extravagant set of gardening shears. The figure was as still as a statue, save for its mismatching red and green eyes, which seemed to be watching them with interest. Shinku and Kanaria wondered over and soon noticed that the eyes continued to follow them about. Other than that, the strange figure didn't move an inch.

"How very odd," observed Shinku, walking around the figure and examining it intently, "It appears to be a tin man ..."

Curiosity getting the better of her, Kanaria moved aside some of the figures clothing to reveal a ball and socket joint. She peered at it closely. "Ohhh, now I see. I think I know what the problem is," she rapped her knuckles on the tin man's chest and glanced across at Shinku, "Not one-hundred-percent tin! The ball joints are made of iron, and it looks as if they've rusted in the rain."

"In that case perhaps we can find some oil in order to lubricate them?"

They both fell silent for a moment, staring at each other. When she could no longer contain herself, Kanaria covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. The tin man's eyes rolled. Shinku coughed politely. Kunkun said nothing. After a brief search they discovered a small oilcan partially hidden within some long grass a few feet away. In all likelihood the tin man had dropped it earlier. Shinku carefully applied the oil to the joints until the figure slowly began to move. A few minutes more work with the oil and everything was good as new.

"Thank you," the tin man said after breathing a deep sigh of relief, "I was in quite a jam there. Allow me to introduce myself; I am Souseiseki, the tin woodcutter. Who might you be?"

Souseiseki retrieved her shears as Shinku and Kanaria introduced themselves and explained where they were headed. She considered their stories for a while before propping her shears in front of herself and leaning on them. "I see. In that case, I ask that I might accompany you on your journey."

"You wanna see the Wizard as well?" Kanaria asked.

"I do."

"But ... why?"

Souseiseki rapped her knuckles on her chest just as Kanaria had done before, and then watched them both expectantly. When they gave no sign that they understood, she explained. "Hollow. I have no heart. If the Wizard can give you a brain and you a way home, then perhaps he can give me that which I desire most."

"A heart?"

"Yes. I have no feelings inside. I am as empty as my body. I care for nothing, yet I want to know joy and sorrow more than anything in the world. I want a heart so that I might learn how to love."

_"How utterly pathetic ..."_

The voice, which was all-too familiar to Shinku, seemed to come from all around them. They searched about for the speaker, yet there was no sign of them. As it spoke again, black feathers began to drift down from the sky.

_"Such a delightfully desperate motley of rejects and delinquents ..."_

"Show yourself!" Shinku demanded, growing fearful of the mocking disembodied voice and seeking refuge in anger. The air was filled with laughter, which at first seemed to be everywhere, but then narrowed down to a single point amidst the trees. They all turned just in time to see the Wicked Witch Suigintou materialise on one of the high branches. She stopped laughing and fixed her unsettling eyes upon Shinku, a wry smile adorning her face.

"Well hello again my pretty ... did you miss me?"


	4. PART4: Lions and Tigers and Bears!

I'm back in the game! I was busy November participating in NaNoWriMo, and I managed to write the 50k words needed to win it. Those 50k words also go towards my writing competition entry for the end of the year, so I'm more than half done on that! Woo! I still need to write another 30k words towards it over the course of December, but for the moment I'm taking a break to update my fanfics. Wizard of Oz first, expect a new chapter of Marchen sometime over the next few days. After new year I will be able to concentrate more on my fics, so expect updates to pick up a lot then. Assuming I'm still alive and on the internet of course!

Okay, that's (more) than enough from me. Here's the next part of The Wizard of Oz! Now I'm off to see the Wizard about getting some chocolate ...

* * *

**The Wizard of Oz**

PART4: Lions and Tigers and Bears!

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Suigintou regarded the group with unconcealed scorn from her perch atop the tree branch, her silvery hair flowing about her face from the slight chilly breeze. She turned her gaze on the scarecrow and gave a mocking chuckle of laughter. "What's this now? A brainless sack of straw. Shouldn't you be in a field somewhere trying to make yourself useful? Take my advice and stick to what you're best at, otherwise I might have to rip you up and use you to stuff a mattress somewhere."

"Why you-" Kanaria began. She was interrupted when Suigintou hurled a crackling sphere of blue fire at her, prompting the scarecrow to recoil in horror. Souseiseki leapt to her defence and deflected the fireball with her shears, snarling in defiance at the leering Witch. Suigintou blinked in surprise.

"A tin boy, too. What odd company you keep Shinku. Now I shall have to turn this woodcutter into so much scrap metal one could fill a junkyard ..." her wings curled over her shoulders and unleashed a veritable storm of black feathers. The group shielded themselves as best they could but the onslaught was relentless.

"Quickly!" Shinku called to them, "Into the forest!"

They fled the Witches assault and retreated into the forest, Suigintou's laughter assailing them every step of the way until they were surrounded by trees and hopelessly lost. At least they had escaped, for now. Shinku had no doubt however that this was not the last she'd seen of the Wicked Witch. Suigintou would not be satisfied until she had the Ruby Slippers.

"Where are we?" Kanaria stared around at the forbidding forest they now occupied, which was decidedly gloomy owing to the towering canopy of dizzyingly high treetops. Souseiseki plucked one of the witches feathers from her arm, which had bent slightly upon contact with her metal skin. Scowling at the thing with disdain, she dropped it upon the leave-strewn ground and took a moment to observe their new surroundings as well.

"I do not like this place," Shinku said firmly, clutching Kunkun tightly in her arms, "It feels quite unfriendly."

"Do you ... do you think there are any wild animals around here?" Kanaria asked, peering through the foliage nervously.

"There might be," Souseiseki answered calmly. Kanaria whimpered.

"Any that eat ... straw, d'you think?"

"Some, but mostly lions and tigers and bears."

Both Kanaria and Shinku gaped at the tin woodcutter with wide-eyed fear. The scarecrow swallowed. "L-lions?"

"Tigers?" said Shinku. Souseiseki nodded.

"And bears."

"Oh my!" Shinku drew Kunkun even closer for what little comfort that provided, whilst Kanaria started to tremble. Despite her very evident fear she laid a comforting hand on Shinku's shoulder.

"D-don't worry Shinku lady, I'll p-protect you, y'hear!" she assured her, though just how sure of that she was herself was somewhat debatable. Just then they heard an almighty roar that echoed through the forest and hit the primal fear response inside each of them with an oversized hammer. Kanaria yelped in alarm and wrapped her arms around Shinku and Kunkun, whilst Souseiseki spun and raised her shears defensively, her gaze searching frantically for some sign of the animal that had made the noise.

"W-w-what was that?" the scarecrow managed to ask between frightened whimpers. Souseiseki frowned and continued to scan the surrounding area.

"It sounded like a lion," she said quietly. Shinku and Kanaria both started with surprise at once.

"A lion!" they yelled together. As if on cue the roar sounded again, only this time it was louder. Louder and closer. Perhaps the scarecrow's fear was contagious, because Shinku started to tremble as well.

"Lions are ... lions are a type of cat are they not? Large ferocious cats that possess great speed and strength!" She hated cats. Always had. Even common household cats were bad, but _lions?_ They were like the Kings of the cat world. Cats were every dolls sworn enemy. They were quite simply _evil!_

"I think we should move," Souseiseki advised. The other two were in no state to argue and followed the tin woodcutter as she led them to a beaten and worn path that would hopefully take them out of this dreadful place. As they crept as stealthily as they could to avoid drawing attention to themselves, Kanaria saw a sinister shadow through the trees and had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from crying out in alarm.

And then it happened. A frightful shape exploded from the bushes ahead and leapt onto the path directly in front of them, roaring at the top of its voice. It was such a terrifying sound that Shinku and Kanaria both threw themselves to the floor and clapped their hands over their heads in mortal terror. They lay there for some time, shaking like the leaves that they shared the ground with. Souseiseki stared at the lion.

"Umm ... guys?" she said quietly. The lion roared again, however this time the sound that issued forth was not so much a primal roar of dominance as it was a meow, like the cry of a hungry kitten. Both Shinku and Kanaria raised their eyes a fraction and looked at each other as they heard the subdued kitten meep again, which was so far from impressive that it was almost embarrassing to listen to.

"Put 'em up! Go on, put 'em up!" a tiny voice squeaked from the path ahead, "Hina will fight all of you! Hina isn't afraid of anything! Hina will take you on with one paw tied behind her back and _still_ win!"

They picked themselves up off the ground and brushed the leaves from their clothes, both blushing furiously. They exchanged a brief glance that simply said 'Let us never speak of this again,' and then joined Souseiseki. Together they all stared at the fearsome lion that had been stalking them. It looked like a tiny little blond girl in a white dress with fluffy white paws in place of hands and feet. Similar looking fluffy white cat ears protruded from the side of her head, and an equally fluffy white tail was visible from under the bottom of her dress. She tried to roar at them again, but all she could manage was a rather pathetic mewling sound. She bounded forwards and waved her paws in what was presumably an attempt at being menacing.

"Scared huh? Bet you are! Bet you're really _really_ scared! Grrraaarr!"

"Not exactly ..." said Souseiseki, unsure what to make of this. The lion's face screwed up like a kid about to throw a tantrum.

"Hina is the biggest most fearsome lion in all the forest!" she insisted, "You're supposed to be frightened!"

"Sorry," said Souseiseki, shrugging her shoulders. Hina's face fell and she gazed up at them with her soulful green eyes.

"Not even a little bit?"

"Not even a teensy bit," Kanaria assured her. Hina seemed to rally herself somewhat and proceeded to leap at Shinku. She flailed her fluffy paws at Kunkun and released another of her pathetic roars. Shinku scowled in irritation and slapped the lion with her hair, knocking Hina to the floor. She stared up at Shinku in shock.

"You hit Hina! Hina didn't even bite your dog and you hit Hina!"

"Well of course. It's bad enough that you were trying to frighten us, but Kunkun is a poor defenceless little dog. Why, you must be such a coward to even think of harming him."

Hina continued to stare at her in stunned amazement before promptly breaking down into a flood of tears. She sat and sobbed greatly, shaking her head from side to side. "It's true! Hina is a great big scaredy cat! Haven't any courage _at all!_" she wailed pathetically, tears streaming down her cheeks like sparkling snowdrops. Shinku watched her thoughtfully for a moment before turning to her friends.

"A lion without any courage is like a doll without a home, or a tin man without a heart. Perhaps the Wizard can help her as well?"

"What, you mean take this great big blubbering wreck with us? I dunno ..." Kanaria seemed dubious, however Souseiseki nodded in agreement with Shinku.

"No, I think she's right; if the Wizard can give you a brain and myself a heart then surely he could give this lion some bravery as well."

"Then it's settled," Shinku turned back to Hina and knelt beside the crying lion. Hina stopped and blinked at her with red-rimmed eyes. "How would you like to come with us?" Shinku said kindly, "We are going to see the Wonderful Wizard of Oz. If you accompany us to Emerald City then I am sure he would be able to make you the bravest lion you could possibly be."

"Really?" Hina hiccupped, her face lighting up with a faint spark of hope, "But ... wouldn't you be ashamed to be seen with a cowardly lion like Hina?"

Kanaria was about to give an emphatic 'yes' but was prevented from doing so by a swift elbow in the side from Souseiseki, which knocked the stuffing from her. Shinku shook her head and extended a hand. "Certainly not; the more the merrier."

"Oh! Oh! You mean it? Thank you lady!" Hina ignored the hand and threw herself at Shinku in what was, if not a bear hug then at least a lion cub hug. Shinku flinched, vaguely uncomfortable.

"Yes, very good. Please stop, you are creasing my dress. I am allergic to cat hair. You are squashing Kunkun."

And so Hina the not-so-brave lion joined the group of travellers heading for Emerald City. Kanaria tried to start up a song, but a scathing look from Shinku soon silenced her and they proceeded with only background music instead. Unbeknown to them all however, they were being watched by the Wicked Witch. She held one of Barasuishou's crystals in her hand and spied their movements in its faceted surface, chuckling as she did so.

"That's right Shinku, the more the merrier," she snickered, "That way I will have no shortage of targets to choose from when next I attack."

The image in the crystal vanished abruptly, replaced instead with a series of strange glyphs surrounding what looked suspiciously like a pair of sunglasses. An annoying voice boomed from the crystal at an excessively loud volume.

"GET YOUR GREEN-TINTED GLASSES AT EMERALD CITY TODAY AT THE SPECIAL REDUCED PRICE OF ONLY 4.99 PLUS VAT! DON'T MISS OUT ON THIS EXCLUSIVE OFFER! ONLY WHILE OZ STOCKS LAST!"

Suigintou winced at the blaring voice and held the crystal away from herself. "What the-? Not _more_ stupid adverts!" She snarled and hurled the crystal across the room, where it shattered against the wall and went dark. She stood there and fumed at the scattered pieces, breathing heavily. "That idiotic Wonderless Witless Wizard! One of these days I am going to turn him into junk! JUNK!"


	5. PART5: Emerald City

New chapter! And it's crazy. I did write it at one in the morning though, so that might have had something to do with it. I'll probably only do about three or four more chapters for this before I finish it.

* * *

**The Wizard of Oz**

PART 5: Emerald City

* * *

The strange group of travellers emerged from the forest and found their way back to the yellow brick road. They passed through a field of poppies without incident, because the Wicked Witch was too busy sulking to prepare the trap she was supposed to. It wasn't long before the glamorous glittering sight of Emerald City itself was visible some distance away.

"There it is!" Shinku declared brightly, pointing, "At long last we're almost there. Oh, isn't it beautiful Kunkun? Just as I knew it would be. Truly he must be a wonderful wizard indeed to live in such a grand and splendid city as that."

Barely able to contain their excitement at the prospect of finally meeting the Wizard, the group hurried down the yellow brick road and reached the city gates in short order. Shinku stretched out her hand to try and reach the doorbell but was simply too short, so Souseiseki graciously offered to let her stand on her shoulders. After she rang the bell a small window slid open in the door and a suspicious pair of brown eyes peeked out.

"Who's there?" a voice demanded, "Who rung the bell?"

"Hey! Hey! Down here!" Kanaria jumped up and waved her hands to catch the doorman's attention, whilst Shinku climbed down and joined her. The eyes glanced down and widened at the sight of the strange little group, before narrowing with suspicion once more.

"What's the matter with you people?" the doorman snapped irritably, "Can't you read?"

"Read what?" Shinku asked.

"The notice of course!"

"What notice?"

"The one on the door you're staring at! It's right in front of-" he fell silent for a moment and then vanished. They heard muttered curse words and then an arm shot out of the window and pinned a piece of card against the door. It hastily withdrew and snapped the window shut, leaving them all to gape at the notice.

"Bell out of order," Shinku read aloud, "Please knock."

They exchanged confused looks for a moment before Shinku strode up to the door and knocked politely. Almost at once the window slid open once more and a pair of wary eyes peered out.

"Who's there? Who knocked just now?"

Kanaria groaned and waved her hands in the air again. "Down here! We're down here stupid!"

The eyes glanced down. "Geez, you people again? What the heck is wrong with you guys, can't you read the notice?"

Shinku glared up at the tiny hatch and struggled to retain her patience. "We have read the notice," she said icily, "It says that we must knock. I believe I just did."

The doorman gave them an exasperated huffing noise and rolled his eyes. "Not _that_ notice. That's the notice from yesterday. Read _today's_ notice."

"Where _is_ today's notice?" Shinku inquired with forced calmness. The hand from before reached out and turned the existing notice around, before pinning it back to the door and slamming the window shut. As one the group stared up at it, and this time Souseiseki read it out.

"Please ring the bell," she said. She glanced sideways at Shinku, who was trembling with anger, her tiny hands clenched tightly at her sides. The scarecrow, tin woodcutter and lion all backed away from the furious doll, who started to glow with a crimson aura of light.

"Do you ... do you think maybe we should take cover?" Kanaria whispered, not wanting to draw the wrath of the little doll but not wanting to get caught in the seemingly inevitable explosion of rage that was about to be unleashed either. Souseiseki shook her head.

"Too late," she said. Shinku raised her hands and a massive torrent of rose petals erupted from her palms and engulfed the door. The flow of petals continued until the entire door had been covered with the things, and they all heard it creak in protest and the hinges squeal under the strain. After a few seconds of this there was an almighty explosion of red light, followed by a shockwave that nearly knocked them all off their feet. When the dust settled they lowered their hands and watched as Shinku calmly strode over the wrecked remains of the door and up to the stunned doorman. He was sitting on the ground several feet away, having been bowled over by the blast. He watched as the doll approached and then slapped him forcefully, leaving a bright red welt across his cheek.

"Ouch!" Jun exclaimed. He rubbed his face and scowled at Shinku. "Was that really necessary?"

"Your ill manners made it necessary," Shinku declared primly, while the rest of her group cautiously clambered over the wrecked doorway and peeked around. "Now," said Shinku, "Kindly direct us to the Wizard of Oz at once, we have business with him."

"The Wizard?" Jun adjusted his glasses and frowned, "You gotta be kidding; _no one_ sees the Wizard. Even _I've_ never seen him, and I've lived here my entire life."

"Nevertheless, we wish to see him. You will take us to him now, and I do not intend to repeat myself further," she said, her tone making it perfectly clear that what had happened to the door was only the beginning if he persisted in being stubborn. Jun got the message and staggered to his feet, hands extended to placate the frightening demonic doll with the alarming temper.

"Okay, okay! Just take it easy. Sheesh, I thought this would be an easy job ..."

Emerald City was as splendid when seen up close as it was from a distance. Everything was clean and bright, albeit consisting entirely of various shades of green. Green cobbles, green stones, green houses, lampposts and people. Well, okay _not_ green people, but the latest fashion in Emerald city certainly seemed to involve the colour green prominently. Jade, emerald, lime, olive, you name it the city sported it. Even the windows were made from green tinted glass.

"I must say, I am surprised," Shinku remarked as they strode down the (green) street. Jun blinked and glanced down at her, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"Oh? What about?"

"You. I would have thought that you would have been given a more significant part to play than a simple doorman. I even suspected that you might be playing the Wizard himself."

Jun snorted. "Yeah, well apparently the script writer wanted to punish me for neglecting you in another story, so here I am stuck playing a crappy doorman. You know the character never even got a name in the original?"

"Terrible."

"Tell me about it! And you know the worst part? The story I'm being punished for was written by _someone else_ altogether!"

"Shocking. Well I can only hope you have learned your lesson; I should receive your full and undivided attention at all times. I am the lead character after all."

"Um, guys?" Kanaria waved nervously to catch their attention. They both stopped and regarded her. "Do you think maybe ... you could stop breaking the fourth wall so much? It makes my head twinge."

"They're only doing it to pad the chapter out," Souseiseki said with an air of disapproval. Before any of them could respond there were shouts of alarm and gasps of astonishment from the extras in the background, who were pointing up at the sky. The group all craned their necks to look up at the (mercifully) blue sky and were shocked to see a giant message floating over the city, composed of sinister black feathers.

**SURRENDER OR DIE SHINKU**

"Yaah!" Kanaria clutched the side of her face and whimpered, "It's that wretched Wicked Witch again, isn't it?"

"I think that's our cue to get on with it," Souseiseki said flatly. They all turned to Jun expectantly, who stared back for a moment before he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He led them through the city streets to the towering palace at the heart of the city (green, of course), and they all stopped before the main gates.

"Halt!" declared Tomoe, the palace guard, "State your business."

Jun folded his arms and said nothing, clearly sulking at having been cast in such a tiny insignificant role. Realizing that he was going to be of no further help, Shinku strode confidently forward and addressed the guard.

"We have come to see the Wizard."

"Orders are that no one may see the Wizard, no exceptions," Tomoe informed her flatly. She had a sword in one hand and was not afraid to use it. Shinku frowned.

"But we must; we have all come a very long way to seek his help."

"It's also the entire point of the story," Souseiseki added humourlessly. When they gaped at her she simply shrugged. "What? If everyone else is going to do it ..."

Tomoe shook her head firmly. "No one may see the Wizard. He is busy devising a strategy to deal with the Wicked Witch, and even if he was not you would still not be permitted to see him; no one has ever seen the Wizard. Not even me, and I _work_ here."

"But then ... how do you know there is a wizard?" Shinku asked, bewildered by this apparent arrangement.

"Because the Wizard said so," Tomoe replied, as if the answer should be self evident. She glanced at the watch on her wrist and registered a moment of surprise. "Oh, it's time for the guard change." She turned to face the gate expectantly, which opened a crack. A second guard slipped through and approached Tomoe.

"Hey there," said Nori, "I'm not late am I?"

"No, just on time. Here-" Tomoe handed Nori her sword and then relaxed her posture somewhat. Clutching the sheathed weapon in both hands, Nori turned and regarded Shinku and the others with a smile.

"Hello all and welcome to the Wizard's palace; can I help you?"

"Yes, we would like to see the Wizard," Shinku said carefully. The new guard gave a quiet laugh and waved to them all.

"Of course! If you'd all just step this way ..."

"Wait, what?" Jun blinked and stared at her in stunned disbelief, "You're just going to let them in?"

"Um, well ... yeah. That's why they're here after all, isn't it? To see the Wizard?"

"But ... but ..." Jun spluttered at the sheer insanity of it. He turned to Tomoe and gestured towards Nori as if she'd lost her mind. "You said no one could see the Wizard! Are you just going to stand there and let her do that?"

Tomoe shrugged. "I'm off duty. Not my business."

He watched Nori usher the bizarre group into the palace and scowled as Kanaria stuck her tongue out at him. Once they were gone he sighed heavily and stuffed his hands back in his pockets. Well, his job was done anyway. Now what?

"Say, would you like to get a drink with me?" Tomoe asked, hands clasped behind her back. Jun frowned and considered the offer. Why not? It wasn't as if he had anything better to do now.

"Do you know who they got to play the part of the Wizard?" he enquired as they set off down the (green, in case you'd forgotten) street. Tomoe raised a finger to her lips in a thoughtful gesture.

"Well ..." she said after a moments consideration, "I did hear that they wanted Rozen to fill the role, but they couldn't find him. Maybe Enju? Or Laplace?"

Inside the palace, Kanaria's head twinged.

* * *

The group were lead through the maze-like passages of the Great Oz's palace, Hina following close behind Shinku and jumping at every shadow she saw. After a while she could take it no more and outright stopped.

"W-wait!" she squeaked, "Hina ... Hina doesn't want to see the Wizard anymore."

"Why ever not?" said Shinku, puzzled by the lions sudden change of heart. Kanaria folded her arms and scoffed.

"Can't you tell? It's because she's too scared."

"But don't you want to ask the Wizard to make you brave?"

The lion whimpered. "Hina's too scared to ask him ..."

"Then I shall ask him for you," Shinku declared firmly, giving a curt nod of her head. Hina's face lit up and she beamed at Shinku.

"Thank you Shinku!"

"You're welcome."

"Hina will wait right here for the answer ..."

After Shinku dragged Hina down the passageways the group finally arrived at the throne room of the Great and Mighty Oz, who was so Great and Wonderful that every adjective applied to him needed to be capitalised to emphasise the fact. It was a very impressive throne room, albeit a very green one. The throne itself was surrounded by pipes, which belched (yes, green) fire and issued forth clouds of reeking smoke. As they approached the spectacular display, a giant terrifying face shimmered into sight amidst the emerald flames.

"Oh!" Hina squeaked and clutched tightly at Shinku's dress, "Look! Look at that! Oh, I wanna go home ..." she wailed.

"I AM OZ! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL! WHO DARES DISTURB ME?" a voice boomed from seemingly all about them. They cringed at the sheer volume of it, which caused the very ground underfoot to tremble with each overpowering word. Shinku decided that she was not going to be bullied by such clear intimidation tactics, and proudly strode forwards to meet the ghastly green visage hovering over the throne.

"I am Shinku, and these are my friends. We have come from far and wide to seek your assistance and-"

"SILENCE! THE QUESTION WAS RHETORICAL! THE GREAT OZ IS ALL KNOWING!"

"In that case you must know-"

"SILENCE! STEP FORWARDS ... SOUSEISEKI!"

The tin woodcutter wobbled forwards nervously and stopped at Shinku's side, gazing up with wide-eyed astonishment at the rippling face of the Wizard. "Y-yes?" she managed to utter despite being almost struck dumb by the frightening display. The face glared at her.

"YOU DARE COME TO ME FOR A HEART DO YOU, YOU CLINKING, CLANKING CLATTERING COLLECTION OF COLLISIONOUS JUNK, YOU?"

"Y-yes sir," Souseiseki stammered, "You see, Shinku here was being chased by the Wicked Witch and since she helped me I-"

"QUIET!" the voice all but screamed, "I SO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT!"

"Ohhhhh, of c-course sir," she fell silent, her head bowed. The face turned its attention now to the trembling scarecrow and its eyes flared brightly.

"AND _YOU_, KANARIA! YOU HAVE THE EFFRONTERY TO ASK FOR A BRAIN, YOU BRAINLESS BUMBLING BUMBLEHEADED BILLOWING BALE OF BOVINE FODDER? WHY, I SHOULD SO SCORCH YOU INTO A PILE OF SEARING CINDERS AND BE DONE WITH YOU, YOU PUNY BIG FOREHEAD YOU!"

"Yeaaahh! Y-yes! Yes your Honour, I - I mean your Excellency, no! Ahh! Your Wizardry!" Kanaria cowered helplessly.

"ENOUGH! EHHHH, YES, AND YOU! LION!"

Hina was shaking with terror at being addressed by the Mighty Oz, and was too paralysed with fear to actually respond. The flames belched higher and the green face contorted with what one might call anger, but doing so would leave one wondering what emotion it had been displaying up until this point.

"WELL? SPEAK!" the voice demanded. Hina ... fainted. Souseiseki rushed to her side and even Kanaria unfroze long enough to bend down and check on the poor little lion. Shinku stared at her unconscious form for a moment before whirling around to confront the frightful apparition.

"That is quite enough!" she snapped forcefully, striding closer to the throne, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Frightening her like that ... and when she came to you for help no less!"

"SILENCE YOU PUNY LITTLE WHIPPERSNAPPER! I SO WILL NOT STAND FOR ANY OF YOUR SASS TODAY!" The voice apparently cleared its throat before continuing, "THE GREAT AND GLORIOUSLY BENEFICENT OZ HAS EVERY INTENTION OF GRANTING YOUR COMPLETELY UNDESERVED REQUESTS!"

"You do?" Shinku stopped and blinked in astonishment at this sudden declaration. The face nodded, insofar as a floating disembodied spectral face could.

"CERTAINLY! BUT FIRST YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS BY COMPLETING A SMALL TASK!"

"Aww, do we have to?" Kanaria whined. The voice of Oz growled at her.

"YES YOU DO! BUT FEAR NOT, FOR IT IS A TINY, INCONSEQUENTIAL TASK THAT SHOULD PROVE TRIFLING TO ACCOMPLISH. JUST GO OUT AND KILL THAT WORTHLESS NO GOOD WITCH OF THE WEST!"

Shinku gasped with alarm at the command, whilst Souseiseki's eyes went wide with shock. "But ... what if she kills _us?_"

"WELL THEN YOU GET DIDDLY AND I HAVE TO SUCKER SOME OTHER POOR DUMB RUNT INTO DOING MY DIRTY WORK!" Pause, "EHH, DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?"

"Yes."

"OH. NEVER MIND, JUST GO ALREADY! GEEZ, I'M REALLY STRAINING MY VOICE HERE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY WORDS I'VE BEEN YELLING IN BLOCK CAPITALS SINCE THIS SCENE STARTED? A LOT, THAT'S HOW MANY! I NEED A DRINK. WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE? I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO! I'M THE TITLE CHARACTER, THAT MEANS YOU SO HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY! BEGONE! OZ HAS SPOKEN!"


End file.
